…And it could even be better than it was, before the indiscretions.
Dr. Erica Goodstone is a relationship expert, who tells Your Tango that, first, you both have to want to try. It’s not going to happen, if one of you is truly “done.”
Goodstone says the key to moving forward is looking back. And you both have to do this, in two specific ways.
First, you have to take an uncomfortable but honest look at what truly went wrong – for each of you. What made one (or both) want to stray? What problems, on both sides of the relationship, devolved to the current state of, well, “affair“? It has to be an open, honest, calm discussion – not a blame game or a screaming fight. Each has to be willing to really listen.
Second, you have to look back at the good times, the good features of the relationship which still exist (there may actually be quite a few), and find a way to let yourself enjoy those things, again…
“If your spouse really did do something to force you to find comfort in someone else, it is important to start with honesty. Being upfront from the beginning will only help heal your marriage.
Consider trying couples therapy, as well. It can be really beneficial for the both of you because it’ll help you put everything out in the open, instead of hoping things fall into place on their own. Even if your significant other isn’t into therapy, you can always go by yourself.”
Sometimes that is the key to motivating the other to go to therapy… But, whether it does or not, it can only help you.
Check out the full article, HERE.