Herpes is a virus of the skin only. When you get tested for STDs you must specify that you want to be tested for herpes; even when you say, “test me for everything” they don’t automatically test for herpes.
Herpes is transmitted by sexual contact not intercourse. Penetration is not required. Genital to genital touching is enough to transmit the disease.
If you think your partner has herpes then condoms should be used during foreplay. If you or your partner are not having an outbreak the risk of transmission is only 5%.
If your new significant other told you they had an STD, would you continue dating them or is that a deal breaker?