WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER: Here’s How to Nicely Signal to Guests That Your Party’s Over

Getting people to leave your home, after a gathering, can be tricky.

Thomas P. Farley writes the nationally syndicated etiquette column Mister Manners, and he says, “Hosts never want to appear as though they are pulling the plug on an event that everyone is thoroughly enjoying.  Nor does a host want to make guests feel that they have overstayed their welcome; as one of the prime directives for any host is seeing to the comfort and enjoyment of all guests.”

Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert, says, ideally, guests should check the time, and sense that the party’s over, without you having to imply that it is, in any way.  Gottsman says that, if you are a guest, the rule of thumb is that you don’t want to be the first to leave and you certainly don’t want to be the last.

Gottsman adds if you’re hosting, you can be politely transparent with your guests, and say something like, “It’s been really nice to have all of you here together tonight.  I am getting a bit sleepy from the exciting evening and I am going to have to call it a night very soon.  I hope you have enjoyed yourself and I look forward to seeing you again soon.”

Here’s about the best thing you could do:  Send an invitation which includes the start and end times of the party.  That’s what Mary Todd Lincoln used to do.  It was considered very good manners – at least, at the time.